Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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