My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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