if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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