My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
