Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
