well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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