His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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