Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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