I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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