1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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