so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
