thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
