bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
