Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
