break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
