I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
