best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
