i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
