she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just pynch a tree in the face
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize