I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
