i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
