Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
They have beer where we have blood.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
