i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
