Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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