so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
