After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
