Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
