This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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