just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This baby is an asshole
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
