Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
