Quick, to the slutcave!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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