When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
