you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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