your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
