i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
