Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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