this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
