i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
