Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
