I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
