babies were throwing up all over the place
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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