Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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