I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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