420 ftw
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
