I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How's work?
Spinning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
