no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
