She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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