I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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