I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
