Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize