Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
vagina is talking i cant
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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