i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
