take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize