Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I understand Curling. That high.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
