i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
