Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
