all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
