What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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