I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
