the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
