Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
