He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
