Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
