Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
