So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize