he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
