just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
