he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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