Whats the glycemic index on semen?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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