She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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