so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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