she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
